I grew up in a very legalistic environment. One of the things that it saddled me with was a deep sense of shame as a reaction to my sin. Therefore, when I sinned, I felt too ashamed to go to God, for “How could he possibly have patience with me yet again!? I’ve done it again!”
Octavius Winslow offers this encouragement. Oh may we all run to Jesus immediately!
“I feel when I have sinned an immediate reluctance to go to Christ. I am ashamed to go. I feel as if it would not do to go, as if it were making Christ the minister of sin, to go straight from the swine-trough to the best robe, and a thousand other excuses. But I am persuaded they are all lies direct from hell.
John argues the opposite way—‘If any man sins, we have an advocate with the Father;’ … The holy sensitiveness of the soul that shrinks from the touch of sin, the acute susceptibility of the conscience at the slightest shade of guilt, will of necessity draw the spiritual mind frequently to the blood of Jesus.
And herein lies the secret of a heavenly walk. Acquaint yourself with it, my reader, as the most precious secret of your life. He who lives in the habit of a prompt and minute acknowledgement of sin, with his eye reposing calmly, believingly, upon the crucified Redeemer, soars in spirit where the eagle’s pinion [wings] range not.”
– Octavius Winslow, No Condemnation in Christ Jesus (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1991). 79—80.
(HT: Of First Importance)